Thursday, April 29, 2010

Mammoth- why some things shouldn't be outsourced...

I have no problem with outsourcing if it makes sense, stations-so you are listening to an obnoxious DJ in Seattle on Sunday afternoons so that most DJs are home with their families, great.
There are many other things that should never be outsourced-like IT help with computer- because if I can't even understand the tech on the other side of the phone with such a heavy accent from someplace, probably, India- I just get cranky and am not a good ambassador for my country- I swear those guys over use the "American" phrases like "No problem" from index cards taped to their monitors.
But getting to the movie Mammoth, something that should never be outsourced is "Motherhood." The movie explores the twisted convoluted relationship of a computer game programmer, his wife, a surgeon and their nanny from the Philippians.
The gamer is waiting in Thailand for a 43 million dollar contract to ready to be signed, at home in New York, his surgeon wife is trying to save a boy at her hospital stab by his mother, at her home, her nanny is taking care of her daughter and back in the Philippians, the nanny's two boys are miserable and being taken care of by their grandmother.
To top it off the gamer in Thailand tries to help a hooker- in a big brother sort of way- and she also is a mother who is outsourcing the care of her baby daughter to someone else, singing lullabies to her probably 7 month old daughter on a cell phone.
Won't give the ending away, but lets just say that no "ah haa" moment comes at the end when the characters realize the ridiculousness of their arrangement- like "hey 45 million is enough, maybe I could get a home office and be home when our daughter comes home from school." Or I will only save the world-go to the hospital 3 days a week and devoted the other 4 to my kid.
I have experienced it all- raised by a single mother, a latch key kid, I worked as a nanny through most of college to really good parents that did know how to balance work and kids, worked for a unbelievable selfish couple for not even 3 month- couldn't stand it longer. Taught preschool for years and saw mom's making minimum wage be better parents then rich, really don't have to put my four year old in preschool all day parents- who are the last to pick up their kids who have been there since 8 because they have to go to Pilates first.
Here is my advice-
If you have babies- raise them yourself-no one will give them what they so greatly need more than their "real" mother-
If you can stay home until they are 5 and in school- do it- at all costs
If you can't- stay home until they are three at all cost and limit the time they are away from you or their dad do it at all cost.
Sell blood if you need to-to stay home with your baby- or in your husband's care, grandparents care.
Try job sharing, working at home, give up a car, a nicer home, new clothes, whatever you can until they are old enough to be away from you-
Their little brains are developing, at a rapid rate- their perception of life and love- what is a few years of tight living to have the privilege of raising your own babies.
When they get to the pre-K age- they can handle preschool- but not 8-5 five days a week- Children gain a sense of place and it would be nice if that place was their own home.
Today- Dad's carry the responsibility- they also have to get creative with their jobs- take their turn- it shouldn't all fall on the mom-
You reap what you sow- to you really want someone else other then you- sowing the most precious investment you have on this earth?

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